


she (is the words that i can't find)

by inanotheruniverse



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/F, Light Angst, but person A thinks they're just really really really good friends, imagine your otp: everyone thinks person A and person B are dating including person B, oh alex honey, tw: mentions of blood, tw: mentions of violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-06
Updated: 2016-12-06
Packaged: 2018-09-06 22:14:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8771443
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/inanotheruniverse/pseuds/inanotheruniverse
Summary: in which alex and maggie are now good friends, maybe too much good friends.and winn just has to ruin everything.





	

**Author's Note:**

> this was written post 2x04, but way before anything significant happened re: alex coming out. disclaimer: i do not own anything, no matter how much i wish i would. coz i'd totes call dibs on alex's bazooka.

**i.**

It’s all Mon-El and Winn’s fault, really.

Alex blames Mon-El and his innocent question, the earnest look on his face when he asks, “Are you going to bring Detective Sawyer for game night?”

Her head snaps up, thumbs left hovering above the screen of her phone as her brows furrow quizzically. “Why would I bring Maggie for game night?”

She’s met with silence, and so she tilts her head, throwing a pointed look at Winn, whom she’s _sure_ started it all. “And I wasn’t aware there was _a_ game night?”

“Oooh, I heard game night!” Kara’s voice rings from somewhere behind. It sounded far away, but when Alex twists to look, her sister is already jutting her head in the doorway of the conference room.

“Where? When? Tonight?” Kara fires off, the shake of her visible shoulder giving away her excitement.

Her expectant grin quickly morphs into a pout when she hears J’onn’s voice calling for her. “Details later, Alex, please?”

She zips off with a _thanks, love you bye_ left in her wake.

With Kara gone, Alex turns her attention back to Winn. Her eyes shift between narrowing and a wide glare that it doesn’t even take him fifteen milliseconds before he cracks. “I need to introduce Mon-El to earthly traditions, okay?”

“Truth,” Mon-El agrees. “Apparently, there is art in monopolizing.”

“Dude,” Winn drops his head and lets out a resigned sigh. “For the hundredth time, it’s _Monopoly_.”

“ _Okay_ ,” Alex says, drawing the last syllable out warily. “But what does game night have to do with Maggie?”

Mon-El purses his lips, and then shrugs. “Isn’t it tradition to bring your significant other to game nights?”

“I’m sorry,” Alex starts, but pauses as a strained sound disguised as a nervous laugh escapes her throat. “My _what?_ ”

“Or, you know, friends?” Winn quickly saves just as a pinched look starts to shape on Alex’s face. “If you’re not quite _there_ yet.”

“ _What?_ ”

Winn waves a hand off, then, “Look, it’s no biggie, Alex. We’re cool with it.”

Alex swears she seems to have stopped breathing as she chokes out, “With _what_?”

Winn looks at her like she’s grown another head, puzzled and disbelieving. “With you and Detective Sawyer being a thing. Not just, you know, gal pals or whatever.”

Alex is smart, she _knows_ she is; everyone _knows_ she is. But her brain seems to short circuit every time she hears her and Maggie’s name in the same sentence.

And when Winn tacked the word _thing_ , her brain seems to have blown her entire left hemisphere.

The frown etched on Alex’s forehead deepens as she repeats Winn’s words. “A thing? Maggie and I?”

He studies her for a few beats, noting the way Alex’s eyes shift all over the room until they fix on a spot on the wall that’s darker than the rest.

He watches as a flummoxed look settles on Alex’s face, like her entire reality is suddenly being thrown off its axis and there is nothing she could do to stop it.

Oh.

 _Oh_.

“Uhm,” Winn pops the topmost button of his dress shirt with shaky fingers as he clears his throat. “I-ah, the results are back and I have to—”

He gestures at the door helplessly. But when Alex doesn’t even respond, he all but jumps off his seat and darts out of the room, leaving a confused, clueless Mon-El on his own.

Alex, for her part, stares at the dark spot on the wall a little harder, as if it holds the answers to the mystics of the Earth.

At least until _something_ dings and buzzes, and she feels vibration spread from her open palms down to the tips of her fingers.

Alex shakes her head to clear the haze of her thoughts away, finally tearing her eyes away from the wall to look down at her phone screen lighting up.

The message goes, _Can we please have something that’s not healthy for lunch?_

She sucks in a lungful of air, exhaling it in three breaths and a fourth, then pulls up her message thread with Maggie.

( _Margaret Ellen,_ from that night she found out that Maggie has listed her down as _Alexandra_ on her phone and she just _had_ to retaliate.)

Alex thumbs in response, _I know just the burger joint in the city_.

 **_Margaret Ellen:_ ** _Can’t wait! It’s been a long morning._

Alex rolls her chair away from the table and then stands to leave, but not without pointing a finger on Mon-El’s face.

“We’re not done talking about this game night, and where you got this ridiculous idea about Maggie and I.”

Mon-El responds with a slow, stiff nod. Though Alex doesn’t miss the way his throat bobs as he swallows thickly.

She knew this budding friendship between him and Winn was nothing but trouble.

 

**ii.**

Winn’s presence becomes increasingly scarce days before _game night_. Alex is hardly surprised.

Not when the glares she throws at his direction—or even at the littlest hint of his shadow—are razor-sharp and lethal.

She’s trying really hard to not let the notion occupy her mind. Because Maggie has been nothing but kind and nice to her from the start; to _Kara_ , to her small group of friends that she sometimes dare calls family.

Maggie’s sweet and playful when Alex feels the press of her job harder than most days; when the weight of Kara’s truth settles heavily on her chest and her shoulders at the sight of another lifeless non-human lying on the hard ground.

She’s warm when Alex can’t find any reason to smile, a hot cup of chocolate and a soft blanket on days that Alex seems to question _everything_ about her existence and her worth.

She’s nimble fingers running through short hair when Alex’s beautiful yet treacherous mind leaves wisps of doubt in her head. The firm _now, right here_ to Alex’s ever burgeoning question: _when am I going to be the first choice?_

So Alex swallows down the thought at the sound of the doorbell ringing, and doesn’t fight the smile that breaks out of her face when she’s greeted by the sight of Maggie carrying two boxes. Donuts, Kara’s favorite brand.

Alex is already surreptitiously endeared, because Kara’s favorite bakery is at the other side of the city that is way out of Maggie’s route.

But then Maggie says, “I bought extra because I know your sister would marry a whole box.”

And Alex simultaneously wants to melt right on the spot and punch Winn on the face, because, _damn him and his crazy ideas_.

Alex laughs, and it’s soft and warm and genuine. “When she starts bouncing all over, you’re the one who’s gonna tuck her in.”

“Alex, _please_ ,” Kara pipes in from somewhere inside her apartment. She can _hear_ her pout. “I am not a child.”

“Yeah, Alex,” Winn jumps in. “She’s five, not three.”

There’s a soft _thud_ followed by a muffled _oof_ that she’s pretty sure is Winn’s voice. Alex crinkles her nose, face scrunching in embarrassment.

“Game night’s cancelled, did you know?” She takes the boxes from Maggie’s hands, and takes a step backwards, pushing the door with her hip to let Maggie in. “We’re babysitting now.”

Maggie throws a smirk over her shoulder as she honest to goodness _saunters_ towards the couch, matched with a look that Alex _now_ knows is going to keep her up the coming nights. “Now that’s side of you that I wanna see.”

 _Dammit, Winn_.

~

The actual surprise is that game night isn’t turning out bad.

(Or maybe she just expected the worst, but Alex isn’t going to tell anyone that.)

She’s actually having fun despite Winn and Mon-El’s bickering in the background, about how Mon-El can’t ask the bank for more money to buy four houses and a hotel because that isn’t what the bank is for.

Despite being neck on neck with Kara, who has upped the game with a little (a lot) of sibling rivalry.

It amuses Maggie to no end, watching the Danvers sisters race to buy Boardwalk and Park Place, only for her to snag both under their noses.

Kara’s huffing in front of her, looking like she’s trying her best not to pout, while she feels Alex slowly start turning broody beside her.

Maggie rolls her eyes in affection, and then nudges Alex’s knee with her own. “Fine, I’ll switch with you, babe. But you have to give me Kentucky and Illinois.”

Alex doesn’t know which was louder, the _dub dub_ of her heart after it has recovered from the skipped _beats_ , or the sound that just escaped throat.

But she swears both were louder than Kara’s _that’s_ so _not fair_ and Winn’s hushed _I’m pretty sure that’s against the rules_.

She covers it up with a loud hum, and a smile that she hopes will hide the redness fast spreading across her cheeks. “I think I—the coffee’s done. You want one?”

“You’ll give me coffee too?” Maggie’s smirk morphs into a teasing smile. “Must be my lucky day.”

Alex opens her mouth to speak, but she can’t seem to find her voice, or any of her usual retorts, because the dips gracing Maggie’s cheeks are so, _so_ deep, she wants to drown in it and never resurface.

Her gaze slips down to the lip that Maggie catches in between her teeth, to the way her lips move as she asks, “Alex? You okay?”

Alex doesn’t, _doesn’t_ mean to rasp, but she does. “Yeah.”

And if she leans in just a little bit closer, it’s the wine they had for dinner talking.

It runs inside her head for every minute distance she crosses, until Kara speaks, in a serious tone of voice that clearly meant business.

“Detective Sawyer, I have a counter offer.”

Alex pulls back the same time Maggie does, twisting away in disbelief because _what the hell was that_?

“Let’s hear it then,” she hears Maggie answer, and she honestly doesn’t know if she’s thankful for Kara’s competitive nature kicking in to break the moment, or if she hates it.

But, _yeah_ , she’s sure she still wants to punch the knowing smile off of Winn’s face.

 

**iii.**

“I’ve never read this many files in my entire career,” Maggie moans as she kicks her feet out for a proper stretch. One she _knows_ she deserves after hours of poring through a thousand cold cases.

Alex, who is sitting an arm’s length away from her, only hums in response. She’s nose-deep in one of the cases from 1984, her eyes never leaving the paper.

Maggie can’t help but smile, even though the other woman can’t see. “I can’t even remember the last time we ate.”

Alex tilts her head, chancing a look. She squints her eyes, jogs her memory to remember _when_ exactly. “About three hours ago, I think.”

She returns her gaze to the paragraph she’s made a mental note of reading last, but fixes her attention back to Maggie when she hears her chuckle.

“What? What’s funny?”

“I don’t think you’ve even blinked the whole time we’re here. Or said a word, really.”

Alex then straightens up, leaning in closer. Her face quickly twists into an apology, and she says, “I’m sorry. I’m bad company, I know.”

Like she’s used to it.

Like she says it all the time.

Like she already knows and accepted _it_ as a fact.

“No, no, you’re not.” Maggie shakes her head, _hard_ , and smiles at Alex softly. “That’s not what I meant.”

Alex’s frown turns into a puzzled look. “Then what do you mean?”

“I was trying to say,” Maggie starts, then, “that we should take a break. We’ve been at this all night.”

“We did,” Alex replies. “Three hours ago.”

She looks wholly unconvinced, and Maggie clucks her tongue at that. “Give me the file, Danvers.”

“But we don’t have any leads yet.”

“And we _won’t_ get any if we run ourselves to the ground,” Maggie states matter-of-factly.

When Alex refuses to move, she darts a hand out and snatches the folder from Alex’s fingers.

“You work too hard, Alex,” Maggie says, and it’s gentle and teasing and anxious all at the same time. She gestures to all the files and folders strewn all over her dining table, “So we’re gonna leave all of these, and we’re gonna put on a movie and have some beer.”

Alex, in turn, grits her teeth to keep her resolve. But there’s something about Maggie’s smile, and the twinkle in her eyes that disarms her completely.

The scrunch of her nose gives her away; that’s how Maggie knows that she’s won the woman over.

“Fine.”

“That’s my girl,” Maggie breathes out, chucking the folder in her hand on top of the pile. She picks Alex’s hand up, lacing their fingers together as she leads them towards her couch.

All Alex can do is stare at the spaces between Maggie’s fingers that perfectly fit hers, and at Maggie’s entire form that she would follow to _anywhere_.

(And maybe, _maybe_ plot Winn’s death at the back of her mind.)

 

**iv.**

“For the last time, Winn, Maggie and I are _not_ dating.”

Winn swivels his chair around to face Alex. “I didn’t even say anything.”

“You didn’t have to,” she snips, and _God_ , if only she could ask Kara to heat vision the knowing smile on his face away.

“But you are… going to her office, right?” He says, haltingly. “I mean, you asked for these records and—”

Alex screws her eyes shut, sucking in a lungful of air. “I’m not going to stick around for this.”

He chuckles, shoulders shaking in laughter.

 _The nerve_.

His laughter trickles down as she walks away, determined to ignore the rest of his jives.

But when he calls her name in a rare tone that she swears she’s never heard him speak, she turns around.

“What now?”

Winn presses his lips in a tight line as he walks towards her, until he’s a step away. He pockets both of his hands, then, “I mean it though, Alex. It’s okay.”

Alex responds with a lopsided smile. “You’re a good guy, Winn. But you really got it wrong.”

~

“I can’t believe we’re spending our Friday night in here,” Maggie grumbles by way of greeting as Alex stops in front of her office desk.

The corner of Alex’s mouth pulls into a smirk. “Actually, I was just dropping these off.” She juts her chin out to point at the box cradled in her arms.

“Oh.” Maggie tries really, _really_ hard to hide her disappointment, but her face falls despite the effort.

Alex drops the box on top of Maggie’s desk, and then pulls the nearest chair. “I’m kidding, Sawyer,” she chuckles.

Except, she totally shouldn’t be. Not when her phone _dings_ and Kara’s message flashes on her screen.

_Where are you? I thought we’re gonna have sister night? :(_

“Oh, _shoot_.”

“You can’t stay, can you?” Maggie hazards a guess. Though, judging by the guilty look on Alex’s face, she knows she’s right.

“It’s Kara. We have sister night and I totally forgot,” Alex replies, the words rushing out as she shoots up of her seat. “I’m so sorry. I know I said I’m gonna help—”

“Hey, hey,” cuts Maggie. She nods at Alex, a sign that she understands. “Sister night definitely takes top priority, okay?”

“We’ll just finish the movie, or whatever it is we’re gonna watch. And if you’re still here, I’m gonna come back.”

Maggie stands from her chair, walks around her table until she’s in front of the taller woman. “Don’t worry about it. Go spend the night with Kara.”

Alex nibbles at her bottom lip, then, “You sure?”

“Positive.”

“Okay.”

Alex fires a quick text to Kara, telling her that she’s on her way. She pockets her phone next, and then grabs the leather jacket resting inside the box she was carrying earlier.

“I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Breakfast is on you, since you’re ditching me,” Maggie smirks, teasing. Though it dissolves into a quick laugh at the faintest hint of guilt that starts to show on Alex’s face.

“Maggie—”

“I was kidding, relax.”

Alex bounces at the balls of her feet, toes curling inside her shoes. Like she wants to go yet she _craves_ to stay.

Maggie, though, makes the decision for her. “You should go, before Kara eats all the popcorn.”

“Okay,” Alex mutters. “Okay.”

She stoops down, presses a quick kiss on Maggie’s cheek, and dashes out of the precinct.

 

**v.**

Maggie Sawyer sure picked an unfortunate time to be called on classified business.

Or at least, this is what Alex thinks as she picks up another chart, reading through the autopsy report—the third one this week alone.

Same MO, same cause of death for the three victims, and Alex doesn’t need to be a detective to conclude that they’ve got a serial killer on the loose. Someone who has a burning hatred for aliens, judging by the amount of trauma the victims have gone through.

She’s poring through one of the folders sprawled all over her table, looking for a break or a lead in the case when her phone lights up and _Bad Reputation_ blares through its speakers.

Alex grabs her phone and swipes on the screen without even checking the ID.

“Sawyer,” she answers, a smile unknowingly pulling at her lips even though no one can see.

“ _Danvers_ ,” Maggie lobs back from the other line. Alex can _hear_ her smirk.

“You rang?”

“ _It’s just 10 AM at this side of the country. Yet something tells me that you haven’t had anything but a cup of coffee._ ”

“Something?” Alex playfully narrows her eyes, watching Kara walk towards her through the glass walls. “Or someone?”

“ _No. I just know that people can’t get enough of you sometimes, you forget to eat_.”

Alex _hmmms_ , then, “is that why Supergirl is walking in here with a lunch bag in her hands?”

Maggie is quiet for a second, though Alex swears she hears a scoff. “ _She’s your running buddy, not mine._ ”

“Is that hostility I hear? You wanna tell me something, Sawyer?” Alex teases.

She waits expectantly for Maggie’s quip. Yet, she’s met with a pregnant pause, though with _what_ , Alex can’t quite place.

“ _I—_ ” Maggie tries to speak. But silence fills the line again, save for the sound of Maggie’s breathing. Until Maggie continues. “ _It’s nothing. Listen, I gotta go_.”

At that, Alex frowns. “Is everything okay?”

“ _Yeah. It’s just—my break’s over.”_

“Mags—”

“ _I’m being called, I’m sorry._ ”

“Oh. Okay,” Alex whispers, hoping that Maggie doesn’t hear the disappointment in her voice.

Hoping that the unnamed feeling that presses in on her chest—when the line cuts off and _Margaret Ellen_ disappears from her screen—will fade.

~

Kara strides inside the the room, watching Alex as she casts a sullen stare at the screen of her phone.

“I brought lunch,” she speaks softly, so as not to startle her sister. “But it looks like you need more than that.”

Alex wordlessly puts her phone back on the table, prompting Kara to ask. “Hey, everything okay?”

“Yeah.” She shakes her head and heaves a deep breath. “Yeah, s’okay.”

Kara puts the lunch bag down, letting a hand run up her sister’s shoulder and down to her arm, fingers circling around her wrist. “You know you can tell me anything, right?”

Alex presses her lips together, forcing a tight smile. She gently untangles Kara’s fingers and catches them with her own, pressing a grateful kiss at the back of Kara’s hand. “I know.”

~

 _She was a jerk_ , this, Maggie knows. And she’s sure that Alex is thinking the same.

Yet, at the risk of fueling Alex’s ire, she still rings Alex’s doorbell.

“Who is it?” comes Alex’s voice from the other side, muffled by the thick, wooden door.

Maggie heaves a deep breath of courage, then, speaks. “It’s me.”

She holds the air in, refusing to breathe. Not until she hears the jangle of the chains tied on Alex’s dead bolt, and the _click_ of the door knob’s lock as it’s pushed out.

The door cracks open, revealing Alex in her sleep wear: an old, worn out University of National City shirt and gray pajamas.

“You do realize it’s like 3 in the morning, Sawyer?”

Maggie purses her lips, nodding in response. She probably deserves all the snipe Alex is going to throw at her for waking her up alone.

“I know. But ah—” She holds a hand out, gently shaking the contents of a paper bag that Alex is too familiar with. “I brought you something.”

When Alex just continues to stare at her wordlessly, she presses on. “We found the perp’s estranged wife in Chicago, and you once talked about this wicked subway sandwich…”

Maggie trails off, dropping the hand that’s starting to feel like lead; the toll of being awake for thirty-six hours is starting to seep in.

“Alex—”

Alex, in turn, jerks her door wide open, cocking her head in gesture for Maggie to step inside.

Maggie looks at her then, eyes asking for affirmation—if Alex is sure and is not just sleep-addled.

“You look like you’re about to fall face first on my floor,” is the answer Alex offers.

It’s not a yes, but not a no either; Maggie’s going to take that as a good thing.

She follows Alex into the living room, and sits dutifully on the couch when Alex tells her to.

“Stay there, I’m gonna go grab some pillows.”

“Yes Ma’am,” Maggie slurs as her thirty-sixth hour crosses to thirty-seven the moment the clock on Alex’s wall chimes 3:00.

Alex comes back with a thick, white pillow nestled in her arm, and a blue blanket sandwiched in between.

She sets them down on the empty space next to Maggie. “You can sleep here tonight.”

Maggie looks up at Alex from under hooded eyes. She has her arms crossed in front of her chest, switching between licking her lips and nibbling at her bottom lip restlessly as she looks back at her.

Maggie swears Alex has never looked so beautiful than she does now.

“I’m gonna let you rest,” Alex finally says, when the weight of Maggie’s stare becomes too much.

She drops her hands to her sides and turns to head to her room. But the feel of a hand sliding against her own stops her from even taking the first step.

Alex twists around slowly, tracing the hand connected to hers with her eyes, until she’s greeted by Maggie’s sombre smile.

“I’m sorry,” says Maggie, voice gruff from the lack of sleep. “I know I—it’s not the best timing, but I can’t just _not_ see you.”

Alex sighs as she covers  Maggie’s hand with her own, giving it a squeeze. “Go to sleep, Mags. We’ll talk in the morning.”

~

Sleep never comes.

Not when Alex feels like she just left her heart outside of her room.

 

**vi.**

Maggie wakes up fours later. She’s moving through Alex’s kitchen with ease born out of familiarity that only people like Kara should have.

Alex can hear her footsteps, can hear the coffee machine percolating, can taste it on the smell that wafts past her bedroom door.

And when she catches a whiff of her favorite sandwich, a question dangles at the tip of her tongue that has her throwing the covers off of her and bursting out of her door and straight to her kitchen.

 _Suddenly_ , she can’t _not_ know. _Suddenly_ , she can no longer take _not_ being sure of _anything_.

Maggie, for her part, lights up at the sight of her; a shy smile gracing her face. “Hey. I totally made myself at home and made you coffee. It’s uh,” she scratches the back of her neck, “I figured it’s the least I can do after crashing your place last night.”

Alex thinks she should say: _thanks_.

She thinks she should say: _it’s nothing._

But her mouth has grown a mind of its own, and it’s spewing the words out before she can stop it.

“We’re not dating, right?”

Maggie’s mouth falls open, looking stunned. “What?”

Alex balls her fingers into a fist, clenching and unclenching. “I mean, we’re not—we’re just friends, right?”

“We’re not?” Maggie repeats, trying to follow where Alex seems to be going.

“It’s just—” Alex grows quiet as she arranges her thoughts, carefully picking the next words to say. “Everyone’s—they keep saying that there’s—that we’re _something_. And I keep telling them no.”

She looks down on her hand, the very same hand that Maggie held just last night, then, “But I _need_ to be sure. I’m not the only one thinking that, _right_?”

Maggie stares at her with a straight face;  not even the usual quirk of Maggie’s lips to give away the thoughts that Alex is _dying_ to know.

But there’s a myriad of emotions that flicker on Maggie’s eyes, too quick for Alex to discern. They brew into a storm that clouds Maggie’s vision, and then settles to a certain kind of dejection that hits Alex squarely in the chest.

Yet, Maggie doesn’t speak. She only swallows visibly as she walks past Alex to pick up the leather jacket resting on the back of Alex’s couch.

“Maggie?”

“Tell them no,” Maggie finally speaks. She keeps her back towards Alex as she shrugs her jacket on. “And I’ll get out of your hair for a while to get them off your back.”

“Maggie, that’s not—”

The creak of the door is haunting as it echoed all over, but it’s Maggie’s  _see you around, Agent Danvers_ that Alex’s knows will haunt her the most.

Alex swears has never heard her sound so disheartened, and she can’t help but feel like it’s all her fault.

 

**vii.**

“Wow,” Winn whistles as he watches Alex step inside the meeting room. “You look like crap.”

“Still prettier than you on your best day,” Alex throws a retort. But it lacks its usual _sting_ that it leaves Winn at a loss on how to respond.

Kara casts a meaningful glance at him, and then jerks her head at the door.

It doesn’t take a second for the message to sink in. “I think I forgot to give Mon-El a towel or something,” Winn mumbles to excuse himself, closing the door on his way out to give the sisters some privacy.

“Alex,” Kara softly calls as soon as Winn’s out of earshot. “Talk to me.”

Alex doesn’t speak right away. Kara lets her be, lets her gather her thoughts amidst the mess her conversation with Maggie has left it in.

“I think,” Alex starts, and then pauses. Her forehead crinkles, deep. “I _think_ Maggie and I are fighting.”

“You think?” Kara asks, though not unkind. And there’s a pang that spreads across her chest when she sees her sister smile sadly at her.

“I _know_. I know we are.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

Alex shakes her head, blinking the tears back when she feels Kara plant a kiss on her forehead.

 

**viii.**

It’s a whirlwind of things after.

There’s the alien who burnt the fingerprints of his victims, which made tracking him down a bitch. And every time Alex’s team gets closer, he gives them the slip.

And every time Alex catches up to the tail ends of Maggie’s wake, she’s long gone.

There’s the alien that was forced by the perpetrator to look human, one that made Maggie’s blood boil and Alex’s heart yearn to soothe the anger.

There’s the arrest that blew up into a fight, with Maggie catching a broken bottle against her right arm and a nasty shiner on her left eye.

It had a lump the size of Maggie’s fist lodging itself at Alex’s throat, at the sight of Maggie’s blood seeping all over the sleeves of her shirt as she watched the paramedic fuss around Maggie from afar.

There’s the red-haired special agent that tucked a small piece of paper inside Maggie’s jacket, to whom Maggie responded with a coy smile.

It left Alex sprawled on her couch, knees bent by the arm as she poured her sixth glass of whiskey—anything to stop her brain from wandering to images of red hair tangled with black.

Kara had found her then, had pried the empty glass from her hands with hardly any difficulty.

She had ignored the scowl that Alex threw her way, and said, “I brought ice cream.” Waved the pint like it was a white flag of truce.

The tone of her voice had a certain appeasing effect that Alex just couldn’t seem to describe, but it was in the earnestness of Kara’s face, the way her eyes told Alex that _it’s gonna be okay_ , that Alex found herself slowly losing the tension building up on her shoulders.

And when Kara said, “I don’t really know what exactly you’re going through, but you don’t have to go through it alone,” Alex had bitten the inside of her cheek, _hard_ , just so she wouldn’t cry.

She almost did at Kara’s, “At least, not tonight.”

 

**ix.**

Nine days. It’s been nine days of Maggie _getting out of her hair_ , and Alex is about ready to shoulder her bazooka and launch it straight towards any evil alien that will get on her way.

She stares at it from across the room, while J’onn sweeps the floor with his pacing as he explains how _crucial_ their mission is going to be.

“We have a _highly_ dangerous alien to apprehend,” she hears J’onn say from somewhere in front. “He can move and bend metals. We need to be _extremely_ careful.”

 _Great_ , Alex thinks, there goes her bazooka plans.

 _Maggie would know what to do_.

“We have one vial of serum to inject him with. We cannot miss.”

Miss. She misses Maggie. She misses Maggie and her smile that never fails to coax one out of her too. She misses Maggie’s laugh, and the twinkle in her eyes when a dog passes her by.

J’onn finally stops pacing, eyeing Alex and the _anguish_ written all over her face.

Kara gives Alex a quick nudge, snapping her back into attention.

“Please continue,” she mumbles, smoothing the paper that she has unknowingly crumpled in her hands.

But J’onn refuses to let it go. He takes in a deep, calming breath, and then fishes Alex’s phone from the back pocket of her jeans, placing it on the table—right where Alex can see. “Do whatever you need to do to get your head straight.”

“My head is fine, J’onn. Don’t wo—”

Kara clears her throat, cutting Alex completely. She looks at her from under her lids and subtly tilts her head, gesturing at the glass walls.

Alex frowns at her and rolls her eyes, but she turns to look anyway.

Only to have the air knocked out of her lungs, because standing outside of the DEO hallway is Maggie Sawyer, looking like she’s on a mission as she struts towards the room they’re currently in.

The door slides open, and there, in all her five foot four glory, Maggie stands, with her chin jutting out as she addresses J’onn. “With all due respect, sir, I’d like to talk to Agent Danvers.”

Alex—everyone, _really_ —could only look.

J’onn regards her with an inquisitive stare, one that she doesn’t shy away from. She meets his eyes with her head held high, holding J’onn’s gaze until he nods in approval. “Very well. Everyone, if you please follow me.”

As soon as the door closes, Alex moves to stand straight, folding her arms across her chest. “Detective Sawyer,” she addresses, with every bit of formality in her tone.

Maggie dips her head, letting out a nervous laugh. Her shoulders start to droop from all of the bravado suddenly seeping out of her, now that she’s standing face to face with Alex.

“Uh,” she swallows thickly. “Hi.”

_Hi._

Nine days, and all Alex gets is a _hi_.

Alex feels herself bristle, feels her defenses shoot up like she’s gunning for a fight. “If that’s all you have to say Detective Sawyer, it can wait. My team has more important matters to attend to.”

She holds her chin up, tilts her head as she waits expectantly for anything other than _hi_.

Maggie blows out air and curses under her breath, shaking _everything_ that isn’t about Alex out of her system. But it’s more of a nudge than anything, to get herself to move and close the distance between Alex and her in three strides.

Though she stops at the sight of Alex taking a step back. It _stings_ like a slap to the face, but she doesn’t want— _never_ wants—to make Alex feel like she’s cornered.

Maggie stills, then, finally, she finds her voice. “I came here to tell you that—” She takes another deep breath, filling her lungs with air. “I lied to you that morning.”

Alex opens her mouth to speak, but Maggie lifts a hand, cutting her off completely. “I lied, Alex. And it was one of the hardest things I had to do.”

Alex lets her body fall back against the edge of the desk, propping both her hands on the smooth surface for support as she feels the fight rush up from the tips of her fingers to her collarbones.

Her face is taut, eyes guarded when she asks, “Why?”

“I was caught off guard,” Maggie answers, gesturing helplessly. “It was like, seven in the morning, and I was looking forward to spending the whole morning with you.”

She runs a hand through her hair. “And then you came to me and asked me, and you just—you looked like you wanted me to say no—that we’re not _anything_.”

Maggie lets her hand drop listlessly on her side when she sees that Alex’s walls doesn’t let up, like she never made a dent.

“All I ever want to do is make you happy, Alex,” she admits, conceding. “To give you what you want. And I thought it was that.”

“But I also can’t _not_ try. I can’t go for one more day and _not_ tell you that I like you, that I want everyone to be right about us.”

“You really—” Alex starts to say, but pauses to swallow thickly. “You want to make me happy?”

“Yes.” Maggie breathes out.

“Do you mean that?” Alex asks.

When Maggie nods, her face loses all its unyielding defenses, replaced by warmth and affection at the sight of Maggie’s watery smile.

And, really, she doesn’t know anything else to say, and the words are left bundled in her throat, lodged along with her heart that’s pounding beneath her chest.

So she does the only thing she knows can properly convey every single emotion coursing through her; the only thing she knows that will let Maggie know what everything in between has _always_ been.

Alex surges forward, cupping Maggie’s cheeks. And when she leans down to capture Maggie’s lips with her own, she has never been happier to prove everyone right.

~


End file.
